Yes ! The air definitely has changed. Change can be good or bad. But that depends on how you perceive it. What angle are you looking from. What picture you paint of it. Its good if you can bend around it. Its better if you can bend with it.
Change can be of different variables. Sometimes it happens that things change, and you dont even notice it. Until you come to that moment when you realize, that SHIT, things have changed. And then you can either accept it, or try to undo it. Either ways it is there to stay. And acceptance is the only thoroughfare.
I have experienced a lot of change throughout this year. Ive been in places I never wanted to be in. Ive gone through phases, previously thought of as impossible. It has given me a lot to write about, and a lot more to think about.
This year started with exams. I was at the hiatus of falling in love, so yeah, didnt care about them. Life was okay. The changes were accepted. Mostly because I had made them myself. I liked the changes, they didnt bother me. The extra puff of that perfume, the extra shopping of new clothes. The new songs I'd figure out tabs of, the new confidence I had in me. It was change and I had made it. I had made it and I thought that its permanent. The hard part is when it comes undone. How to undo the PERMANENT changes..... ? What to revert back to ? How to revert back ..... ? You are pretty much left out on a limb. Cant figure out anything..... and you are just stuck out there.....
The first irregularity I woke up to, was a medical practitioner administering a catheter. TO ME. For those of you who dont actually know, what THAT is, its a device, that .... uhh..... helps disabled people, pee in their beds, without wetting themselves. And YES, its THAT painful. The pain broke up my 7 hour unconsciousness and WHAT a way to do it. I woke up screaming, covered in blood, tasting sand in my mouth, coughing out dirt, not feeling most of my body, feeling TORTUROUS pain where i could FEEL anything. Now this was a change hard to down. I was sleeping in the back seat of a friends car, and woke up 7 hours later at a hospital. I thank Allah mian, day in and out, that His Kindness was the reason im still here....
It was a change from what I had made life of. It was hard to accept. It difficult to not to be able to sit up straight or walk or eat from your mouth...... but then you adapt. You find ways to make it convenient. Because you accept its reality. You accept the change.
One day you find the changes that you've made, have been undone by some other person. They could not have OR maybe they could have prevented it from changing SO abruptly, but shit in your life has changed on someone else's discretion. And they dont seem to give a rats ass about what happens to you. Whether you accept the change or be defeated by it. And they stop caring, JUST like that. That is how change comes undone. That is EXACTLY how it happens. And this is exactly why you should be ready enough, and you should be rolling with the punches. I got socked in the eye. Apparently, I cant be a good boxer. :)
Time heals everything. Time and timely events. Slowly , the regenerative animals that we are, we start regenerating the life before we changed. So in essence , we are changing the CHANGE, by breaking its little tiny pieces and throwing them away. And that is how you heal. You bleed, you clot, you remove the clot. Good as new. Its slow, it takes time. Necessary time.
What about when you actually manage to come to the first peg ? Well, mostly you cant undo the change completely. Some parts of the change stick forever, just to keep reminding you where youve been. What you did, what you didnt. Its just check and balance. It keeps you in check and balances the oddities.
And then it happens. The air changes. You can feel the air change. Taste it on your palate. See it form around you. The air starts to change, and compels you to come with it. It can be a new pet, a new friend. Old friends, older pets. It can be anything. It can be coffee in the winter, It can be acting silly on text messages. It can be lassi, on a hot day. It can be Table Tennis on a rainy day. It can be a new interest, or the lack of it. It can be color. Red or a pale fading red. It can be from A and it can be from Z. It can be pretty much anything. But it exists. It shows your ability to accept whatever happens. To come beyond whatever happens. It shows you being human. It shows hope.
Change is inevitable. Acceptance is not. You have to learn to accept. Denial will only get you so far.
For me, the air has changed people. It has definitely changed......